Final

I've watched this video many times.  It's Tony Hawk doing a skateboarding trick that's really hard.  He's easily the best known skater.  I don't know much about skating, but his is the only name in that whole realm of sport that I know.  He's been leading the sport for a really long time and he's 52 in this video I connect so much with.  He's doing an Ollie for the last time.  

It's inspirational and happy and sad all at the same time.  He fails and fails and fails and keeps trying.  He finally does it.  He's super happy that he did it and also sad and emotional.  He knows it's the last time he'll ever do it.  It's over.  He still remembers it and probably always will.  He's just in a different part of his life.

I find this so hopeful.  There is a next...

Taher, you probably won't have it on video and you probably won't know it's the last time.  Enjoy it for what it is and know that there's the next thing to be and do.  It may be greater than you think.

Happy

World Happiness Day was this past week.  I think it's cool that's a thing.  It's pretty remarkable to think about.  The entire world has a day to reflect on happiness and primarily their own happiness.  At first, I thought that's kind of self-centered.  As I learned more that's just not true.  Or at least it's not strictly true.  

I learned there is some research out there showing that happier people are more likely to do things to help other people.  This gave me a whole new perspective about shukr and another reason why it's good to have.  I used to think that the goal was to be happy and that shukr was how to get there.  It still is; that's right.  I was a bit conflicted about the goal of being happy.  That's not the end.  Being happy makes space to do things for others which in turn make us happier.  It's a wonderful circle; not a line.

Taher, be happy.  It's good for others.

Job

Everybody has a job.  People have a different job at different times.  That other person's job may be to be difficult.  That guy in the cars job may be to drive poorly.  The parent's job is to calmly deal with their angry kid.  Everyone has a job.  They might be different jobs at different times and for different reasons.  There's no need to be influenced and act differently because the people around you are doing this or that.  The people around you may make it easier or more difficult to do your job.  No need to sweat what they do or don't do; they are just doing their job.  Your job is to be a good human.

Taher, do your job.

Hard

We've heard good things come to those who wait.  It feels correct.  I've thought about that recently.  Doing good things are hard and often hard to do and they take time.  Sometimes it's hard to have Sabr, but it's it's really good to.  It's hard to do hifz, but it's really good to and it can take a lot of time.  I've heard in waaz many times that it's more sawab to do wudu with cold water.  It feels like recently it was added that it's more sawab to do that for fajr namaz.

That has a lot of layers.  Very literally, it's using cold water. That's easy to understand.  One layer I've been stuck on for a while is that you should do it because it prepares you for a good thing despite being hard to do.

I've gotten another layer of understanding.  I no longer think it's about preparation.  Doing the hard thing is good.  It takes consistency to do it and do it well.  It takes practice just like hifz or working out or making any progress in anything.  In many contexts, consistency is another word for practice.  

Taher, do the hard thing not because there's something good that comes after.  Do the hard thing because the hard thing is the good thing.

Moment

Life has a lot of frustration.  It's easy to be overwhelmed.  It's also up to us.  We get to decide if the moment will dictate our reaction or the other way around.  I always hear stuff like live in the moment or be in the moment.  That leaves out that we have a say in what kind of moment that is.  Don't be overwhelmed by the moment.

I wrote about taking a 5 minutes 20 years ago.  It was one of my first posts and one of the wisest it seems.  

Taher, take your advice

Sabr

Every year before ramdaan I like to focus on one thing for the month.  A few months ago we heard a waaz dedicated to the idea of Sabr.  Ramadaan was far off in the future then😊, but the waaz stayed with me.  I used to think this word simply meant patience.  It has many layers and means so much more.  The central theme of the waaz was Sabr is core to being mumin.

Sabr among other things to me now means to me controlling your mind.  After all, that's probably the only thing we can control.  I'm realizing our body is not even in our control as much as I believed it was when I was younger.

I think a point of rozu is to remind of this idea of Sabr.  Not simply patience.  Rozu for a long time has not been about not eating for me.  The eating part has become a smaller part of rozu every year.  The not eating part is a reminder that eating is our choice.  We have the urge to eat or do anything and it's up to us to to decide in our mind if we will or not.

This year when I'm hungry, I'll let that be a reminder to think about Sabr.  The not eating part is easy; the Sabr part isn't.

Taher, have Sabr. 

Consent

I usually think of this as something external. It’s something you give or don’t give. It doesn’t have to be external though. It applies to emotions too or at least some of them sometimes. It’s my mind telling me that I’m overwhelmed, or frustrated, angry, or happy. There’s a lot of “stuff” that is happening and contributing. That will probably always be true. 

The thing though is it’s a choice to feel whatever. I don’t want to oversimplify and circumstance is important, but in many cases it’s on us to choose how we feel or don’t feel. 

Taher, choose to feel thankful and don’t give yourself consent to feel angry.